DuckButtHairCut
by AnonymousM
Summary: We all know that Sasuke hates Itachi because of the whole ‘family killing thing’. And we definitely hear enough about it too. But when Naruto mentions Sasuke’s hair cut, a new reason will emerge…


We all know that Sasuke hates Itachi because of the whole 'family killing thing'

We all know that Sasuke hates Itachi because of the whole 'family killing thing'. And we definitely hear enough about it too. But when Naruto mentions Sasuke's hair cut, a new reason will emerge…

**Duck-Butt-Hair-Cut**

"Hey!" Konoha's hyperactive fox boy called. "Sasuke! Wait up!"

Sasuke grunted. It was just like these ingrates to slow him down. And he couldn't be held back from his life's goal to kill his older brother…

"Hn"

Talk about a one-track mind, huh?

"Sasuke, I FINALLY caught up to you!" Naruto blasted in Sasuke's ear.

"Hn"

"Don't you know any other words?"

"Hn"

Naruto now sported an uncharacteristic frown. Then a mischievous smile crept over his features. He had a plan to make Sasuke talk, alright, using his #1 talent.

He planned on annoying it out of him.

Naruto resisted the urge to laugh maniacally at his oh-so-evil plan; that was Orochimaru's forte.

"You know," Naruto began casually, "for a chick magnet, you sure have one weird-ass haircut."

Sasuke's eye twitched.

"And," Naruto continued, sensing Sasuke's discomfort, "it kinda looks like a duck's butt"

Sasuke nearly popped a blood vessel in his forehead.

Naruto was really having fun now. "So what's with that anyway?"

Sasuke's rage at the suppressed memory took over. "You know my life's goal is to rebuild the Uchiha clan and avenge my family. But there is something about me you do not know. There is another reason I hate my brother, and must fight him to the death…"

_--Flashback--_

_A younger, happier Sasuke ran about the Uchiha compound. _

"_Sasuke!" Mikoto Uchiha called to her son. "Come over here, please."_

"_What is it, Mother?" Sasuke replied with large eyes. Had he unknowingly committed some wrong? Could she possibly know about the extra cookie he stole from the cookie jar? Or worse yet, could she be telling him that they were out of tomatoes? What would he do?!_

Back in the present time, Naruto snickered. He couldn't help it. Out of all the weaknesses in the world, the Uchiha showed a strange addiction to tomatoes. So _that_ was why Sasuke had his face covered in the tomato sauce that time they ate spaghetti …

Anyway…

"_You need a good haircut. Your hair is just too long."_

_The cute, small version of Sasuke pouted. "But Momma, I like my hair. I want to grow it just like Itachi's."_

"_Foolish little brother." Itachi's deep voice resonated from behind him._

_Sasuke jumped, and then he turned and leapt on his older brother in a fearsome little-kid tackle, joyfully screaming "Itachi!"_

_Itachi laughed. It didn't sound quite right, but it was laughter all the same. "Would you like me to cut your hair Sasuke?"_

_Sasuke jumped up and down joyfully "YEAH! YEAH! YEAH! YEAH!" he yelled._

"I suppose I sounded like you, Naruto" Sasuke mused aloud.

_So Sasuke's mother handed Itachi the shears._

"_Be careful with them, dear." Mikoto said anxiously._

_Itachi sighed. He is the captain of the Number 1 ANBU squad in Konoha. He killed people with kunai, shuriken, senbon, and other various sharp objects, let alone the large knowledge of chakra he possessed, and his mother was worried about some scissors. Really, it was almost insulting._

"_Yes, mother."_

_Then Itachi smirked, "Come here Sasuke."_

"_Yes Itachi."_

_Sasuke sat down. He couldn't wait! Maybe Itachi would do his hair just like his older brother's!_

"_Um…Ita-kun? Could you maybe do my hair like yours?"_

_Itachi needed some inspiration, he did NOT want a mini him going around, he wanted hit Ototo-san to look completely different.. Searching and successfully finding the inspiration required, Itachi replied "Sasuke, I will do your hair to look even __**better**__," Itachi said with an almost evil emphasis, "than my hair is."_

_Sasuke couldn't believe it. HE WAS GOING TO HAVE HAIR ITACHI THOUGHT WAS COOL!!_

"_I'll even make it virtually un-mess-up-able too."_

"_Ita-kun, you're the best!"_

_Itachi merely smirked._

_**TIMELAPSE - ONE HOUR LATER**_

_After much snipping and chakra-enhanced gelling, Sasuke's hair was ready. His hair would almost never change. _

_When the shears stopped, Sasuke timidly ventured "Is it done yet onii-san?"_

"_Yes, go up to the mirror in your room and come back and tell me what you think"_

"_Argatou! You are the bestest brother ever!" Sasuke cheered, and he ran upstairs._

_As soon as Sasuke was out of sight, Itachi did a teleportation justu, and with a 'Poof', he was 5 miles away, and had every intention of staying there._

_Sasuke eagerly looked in the mirror for hair that looked like Itachi's, but instead saw with horror what his hair had become._

_He knew what Itachi's inspiration had been._

_The ducks on the pond outside the Uchiha compound._

_--End Flashback--_

"Jeez, Sasuke, you have issues man, it's just a haircut."

Sasuke had just revealed a very private side of himself, and was very upset. Now Naruto mocked his hair? His agony?!

At this point, Naruto was nervously backing away from the killer intent radiating off of his teammate's body. He would rather have Sakura _**and**_ Tsunade punch him in the face before he would let Sasuke do…whatever evil thing Sasuke was planning on, which was sure to end in certain death and/or castration.

With a roar of rage Sasuke chased Naruto off into the sunset that Gai and Lee were using for their 'Youth' thingy.

_**Fin**_

**Author's Note**

**So, what did you think? It was my first fanfiction ever, so please review. If you want, you can leave flames, but I would like constructive criticism better, and nice things give you a cookie! It's chocolate chip!! Look at the grayish (it's not purple to me) Review Button. Hmm look how pretty it is… (HintHintNudgeNudge)**

**PS. Here are what the Japanese words mean:**

**Argatou- Thank you**

**Onii-san- Older brother (It really does, even though Hinata calls Neji that and they're cousins, in the English Translation, she says 'Brother' and the 'o' is generally used as an affectionate term to an older sibling)**

**Ototo- I'm not sure if the spelling is right on this one, but I think it means 'Little brother'**


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